Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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