I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
