I puked a lego.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
