I look better un-naked...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
only you would photoshop your dick
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
