I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize