dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
