And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
