He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
