once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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