The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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