Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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