he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
