so explain again why im purple
no
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
