how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
