i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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