This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Boobs are out for the taking
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
