Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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