Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
