Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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