Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
