every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
