dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
