do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
