sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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