i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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