I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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