pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
