I skipped work to stalk him.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Also, beer. Big fan.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize