She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
