dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
