I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
