I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
