to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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