You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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