There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
