I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
