There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
