are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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