your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
