so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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