Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
