.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
my god I love twenty year old dicks
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
