i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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