Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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