i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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