My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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