clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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