We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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