I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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