idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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