Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
