ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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