there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Randomize
