This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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