If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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