You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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