need another drink. this is the easiest way
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
