Pregnant stripper...not hot.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
