worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
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