i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
