just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
