her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm passing your future prison.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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