It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so let's talk penis.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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