just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
