I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
