Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I cockslap morals
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
